they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
