He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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