It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
