brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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