i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize