There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
