Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
