I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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