I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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