i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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