I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
