Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
