forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
