whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
