id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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