we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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