I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Randomize
