Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
