is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
