take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Randomize
