She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
