was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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