It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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