She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
