now i know why i became what i already was.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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