That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
