Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
