Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize