it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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