for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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