my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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