Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
