i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
