Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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