I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
