let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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