My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
