I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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