He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
