I love black thongs
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
