In the future we'll all be gay
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
