my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
