I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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