you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
