I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
