I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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