Bisexual people are plain selfish.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
