I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
