with your own penis?
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
