In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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