I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
