i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
