i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
