I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
