Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
