Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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