We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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