the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
