the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
