so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
